Six Months Later
by Mac512
Summary: Bellamy, Clarke and the rest of the delinquents have defeated A.L.I.E and have finally sustained long-term peace with the grounders. Now Clarke and Bellamy must set out to find a good place to grow food to feed their people.
1. Chapter 1

It had been six months since the delinquents defeated A.L.I.E and finally established permanent peace with the grounders. Only a few groups of the grounders still had hatred for Skaikru. When Bellamy and Clarke got sent to find fertile land, that wasn't occupied by grounders, they made sure to be very cautious of the threats that might want to harm them. So when Clarke suddenly disappeared without warning, Bellamy lost it. He retraced their every step almost a thousand times before realizing that they had radios to communicate. Bellamy picked up the radio that had gotten buried into his backpack. Clarke had been trying to reach him the whole time.

"Bellamy! Bellamy, are you there?" Clarke's voice came through the small speaker. Bellamy sighed with relief than a small smirk appeared across his face.

"I can't believe you got lost." He joked, "Are you okay?" He asked.

"I didn't get lost!" She protested, "I went over to look at an odd plant, and when I looked up you were gone!" She seemed more annoyed over him accusing her of getting lost rather than him actually leaving her.

"Well, I'm sorry that I left you," Bellamy teased, "where are you I was worried." He said more serious now.

"If you would have picked up your radio maybe you wouldn't have lost me." She teased back, "I found some fertile land, just east to the small river we passed earlier. Meet me here it's beautiful."

Bellamy let out a small laugh and jokingly said back into the radio, "Alright well I guess I'll see you there, try not to get lost again." He heard Clarke mumble something before putting the radio in his pants pocket.

Bellamy turned around and headed to the river to find Clarke. He was trying very careful not to get lost again, because he knew if he did he would never hear the end of it. Clarke was always better at directions and Bellamy was good at hunting and tracking. The trip had already taken three days, and not one grounder had attacked. Bellamy knew it was only because the new commander would sentence anyone to death for attacking Skaikru. But he was always on alert. He finally made it to the river, so he knew he was close.

Meanwhile, Clarke was exploring the knew land she discovered. It was a breath-taking, grassy area with tiny yellow flowers. She had seen nothing like it since landing on the ground. The setting sun painted the entire field a fiery red, with a dash of a soft pink. There was an old tree stump that had probably been there for more than 100 years, she sat down and pulled out the sketch book that Raven gave her. Clarke drew the cultivating field before being interrupted by the footsteps behind her.

She turned around with a big smile on her face "I thought you'd never get here." Before she even saw that it wasn't Bellamy who was approaching her from behind she felt the sudden impact of a large branch against the side of her head and fell to the ground, unconscious.

Clarke woke up tied down and scantily able to move. Her vision was blurry but it was coming back she could without trouble point out the huge grounder sitting in front of her. He had long dirty black hair and untamed facial hair, he had three small tattoos on his face.

"Let me go!" Clarke howled at the man. With no response she grew even more infuriated "What do you want?! Our people are at peace with yours!"

"Not all of us are at peace." He argued.

"Well what do you want?" She snarled back at him.

"I'm waiting for your little boyfriend to come find you, so I can deliver both of your heads to my people."

"Leave Bellamy out of this. If you hurt him-"

"You can't do anything Clarke. My people wont rest until the ones we lost are avenged."

"This is pointless, you're only doing more harm, just let me go, I won't say anything." Clarke pleaded not only for her life but Bellamy's life as well, but the grounder didn't reply. Before she could think of anything else to say she saw Bellamy from across the field. She knew he had a plan, so she did her best to distract the grounder.

"You know that you're going to get yourself and most likely your people killed."

"I know what Heda said about attacking Skaikru."

"So why are you doing this?" Clarke waited but no response. She was desperately trying to think of something else to focus his attention on her, but in one sudden moment Bellamy came up behind the grounder and shot him in the head. His body gasped for it's last breath of air, and then his now-lifeless body fell to the ground. Clarke stayed silent and Bellamy towered over the dead grounder still as a tree.

Once Bellamy calmed down, he ran to Clarke's side to untie her.

"Are you okay?" He asked as she stood up and brushed off the dirt from her legs.

"Yeah, are you?" She said

"I'm fine, I'm just glad you're okay." Bellamy caressed Clarke's face, and looked into her gentle eye's.

She grabbed his arm as it reached the back of her neck, " Thank you Bell." Clarke whispered. Bellamy half smiled and nodded his head as a way of saying you're welcome.

They looked at each other in silence for a quick second but than interrupted the moment with an awkward topic change. "So what are we gonna do with him?" Bellamy asked while looking down at the dead body.

Clarke took a deep breath in and said, "I guess we wait until we go back and then we go tell the new commander."

"Alright." Bellamy picked up the body and took it behind a tree so they wouldn't have to look at it. While walking back he found Clarke's sketch book lying on the floor next the stump where she was attacked. He grabbed it and saw Clarke's drawing. He walked towards Clarke as she was gathering her things. "You drew this?" Bellamy asked.

Clarke turned around and saw Bellamy holding her sketch book. "Yeah, while I was waiting for you."

"It's amazing Clarke." Bellamy said in awe.

"Yeah, well I thought I'd capture all of it before we tear it all up to grow food."

"Why don't we find another place to grow, and this can be your place to draw."

"Bellamy this land is incredably fertile, I don't know if we'll find somewhere else as good to grow."

"Hey, you deserve a place to come and forget all the bad stuff that's happened, to just come and draw and be at peace let this be your place."

"If we can find another piece of land that will be suitable to grow than okay, but only if you use it to write." Clarke demanded.

"Write?" Bellamy said in confusion.

"Yeah, I know you keep a journal. I've see you writing in it all the time. I can tell you love it, just as much as I love to draw."

"I only write when I'm alone. When have you every see-"

"I saw you trade the journal in Polis," Clarke interrupted, "when we were agreeing to the final terms in the alliance, and ever since then you've written in it every night." Bellamy still had a confused look on his face, "Bell you're not the only one who can barley sleep, I stay up and watch you write."

"That's not creepy at all." Bellamy mocked. He was oddly pleased and very amused at the idea that Clarke watched him at night.

"That's not the point," Clarke paused, looked around and said, "you promise to use this place for your get-a-way spot too?" Clarke smiled, but still with seriousness.

"I promise," Bellamy smirked, "now let's try and sleep, then will start early morning searching for the new soil."

Bellamy and Clarke started a fire and fell asleep quick for the first time in months. On opposite sides of the fire they felt closer than ever; now they had this spot in which only they knew about, a place barley touched by all the evil in the world, a place they now shared.


	2. Chapter 2

Clarke and Bellamy spent the entire day searching for fertile land; after hours and hours of countless looking, they finally came across the perfect place for their people to grow crops. It wasn't as appealing as the original spot, but it was more than enough for Arkadia. On their way back to camp they continued their conversation about, Bellamy's writing. Clarke learned that he started writing because he didn't think he could talk to any one at first. This bothered her, she didn't know why, but it bothered her. She always thought her and Bellamy had an understanding, because of everthing they've been through together. Clarke ignored it though, the last thing she wanted to do was make Bellamy talk about the dark moments in his past.

As the day went on, and the sun went down, Bellamy and Clarke decided to stop and wait till morning to continue home. They were only two hours away, and could have easily made it before the sun completely set, but they weren't ready to go home yet. Ever since they defeated Alie, and made it out safe, Clarke and Bellamy would volenteer to go on any mission, no matter what. They had never talked about why, but they both knew it was because they didn't feel like hey could go back to normal like Abby and Kane wanted them too. They didn't even know what normal was anymore. They just needed to get away sometimes.

Clarke sat and watched Bellamy as he set up the campfire. "Why do you always make the fire, you never let me do it anymore."

Bellamy looked at Clarked with his teasing smirk, "Because last time you tried to start a fire you couldn't keep it going for more than 5 minutes." He could tell by the look on her face that she was slightly offended, he looked down at the wood he was piling up. "Do you really want to be in charge of making the fire. Because if so Princess its all yours, just don't complain to me when your freezing tonight." He laughed. When he looked back up at her she had nostolgic look on her face, Bellamy was highly confused, he expected her to argue and deny his accusation.

"You just called me Princess?" She asked rhetorically.

"Yeah, I did." Bellamy was surprised, why was Clarke so intrigued by something he ad called her a million times before.

"You haven't called me princess since we first landed."

"Hm" Bellamy looked at her, titled his head and laughed, "I haven't, have I?" He thought about it for a moment and realized that he didn't even notice that he stopped calling her princess. "Well you haven't been acting like a princess until now." He joked.

"How am I acting like a princess?" She yelled.

"You just are," He smiled, "now why don't you come learn how to start a real fire so one day you don't freeze without me." He teased.

"In that case I should learn, because with your navigation skills you'll be lost, within an hour without my help." She teased back as she walked over to him and picked up a long, skinny stick.

"You would never let me get lost Princess." He smiled and said as he nudged her with his shoulder.

She looked up at him and couldn't help but smile, because she knew he was right. "And you would never let me freeze too death."

Bellamy rolled his eyes and continued to try and teach her how to start and keep the fire going, she eventually got the hang of it. They laid down side by side and spent almost the whole night reminiscing about when it was just the 100. Soon they fell asleep, and unlike the night before, they didn't have a peacefull night of sleep.

"Clarke! Clarke, wake up it's okay, it's just a dream." Bellamy held Clarke up trying to wake her from her night-terror. She was screaming and jerking around. This wasn't the first time this has happened while they were away. He was pretty good about handling the situation, but it still scared him every time.

In a swift moment she shot up and took a deep breath in. She looked at Bellamy who was holding her up, clearly terrified. "I'm sorry," she spoke as she tried to catch her breath, "I didn't mean to wake you." She looked up at him with sorrow.

"Don't worry about it," he smiled slightly, "you should try and get some more rest, I'll stay up and make sure you're okay." At this point she was sitting up, curled up, facing him. He had his hand on her knee trying to comfort her back to sleep.

"No, I won't be able to fall back asleep, and you clearly need to rest more than I do." She said while looking at the dark-purple circles under his eyes.

"Well if you're not going to sleep I'll stay up with you." He smiled and grabbed her hand.

Thank you, but you really should really get som-"

Bellamy cut her off before she could tell him that he needed to sleep. "Clarke, if you're staying up, I'm staying up."

"Fine, but only of we start to head back to camp, we should get back early before my mom sends out a search team." She giggled.

"We have been gone longer than usual." He agreed and pulled his hand away from hers and rubbed his hands over his face and shook his hair.

"Yeah, so lets get going." She stood up quickly trying to cover up how tired she really was. She reached her hand out to Bellamy, still sitting on the ground. He reached up and took her hand, even though he could have gotten up with out effort.

When finally reaching the camp the gaurds opened the gates, the first to notice they were back was Abby. She quickly ran over to them and hugged Clarke. Although she's never really said it, Clarke knew that ever since she got back her mom has been afraid that she would leave again.

"Clarke, Bellamy. We were starting to worry about you two." She realeased Clarke, and gave both of them a look of disaproval.

They looked at each other and exchanged a quick smile before Clarke responded, "There's nothing to worry about, me and Bellamy can take care of oursleves." She said with a slight bit of sarcasm.

"I know, but you two are always leaving days at a time." She seemed to be suggesting something more was going on.

Clarke quickly caught on to what her mom was hinting, "Mom," she scoulded, "there's nothing to worry about, I know it's hard to understand, but we don't enjoy spending every second here confinded by these four walls."

Bellamy too caught on to what Abby was implying. He quickly looked away in hope that neither of them would notice him blushing. Luckily they were too busy arguing to notice.

"Maybe you should come back to my office, I think we need to talk." Abby had a sterness to her voice, Clarke knew that arguing would be pointless, she gave Bellamy a look that said she'd talk to him later before she followed her mother into the ark.

Bellamy started to head back to his room, but before he could make it there he was stopped by Raven. She popped up behind him, grabbing his arm so he couldn't walk away from him.

"So you and Clarke were gone for a while, what took so long?" She asked as if she already knew the answer.

"Nothing worth talking about, same as every other time we leave camp." He turned to look at her, he seemed very annoyed, he knew that he wouldn't be able to make through the day without being interigated by Raven about his recent trip with Clarke; he was hoping that he could at least shower and relax for a bit.

"Well why not? I know you have feelings for her Bellamy. You can't hide anything from me." She said with a mocking smile.

Bellamy and Raven grew closer once Alie was defeated, mainly because Raven was the only one who didn't believe Bellamy's tough guy act. She would pratically force him to talk about his feelings. And while Bellamy knew it was only because she cared he couldn't help but find it annoying that she was always so concerned about his and Clarkes friendship.

"I'm not hiding anything Raven. I've told you a thousand times, me and Clarke will never be more than just friends."

"What ever you say." She smiled and they began walking towards Bellamy's room.

Bellamy took in a deep sigh, "how's Octavia?" he asked with pure sencerity.

"She's fine," Raven looked up at him, "I still think that you should try and work things out with her."

Bellamy stopped walking again turned to face Raven, "She doesn't want anything to do with me, there's no point in trying to fix things." He looked at her with hurt in his eyes, than down at the ground.

"Your sister loves you, she's your family you have to work things out with her." She explained.

"How? She loved Lincoln, and I got him killed. Tell me how she's suppose to forgive me for that." He said getting a little more heated.

"She doesn't blame you nearly as much as you Blame yourself Bellamy. I know she misses you too, but both of you are too stubborn to try and fix things. You need to do something before it's really too late and she's gone." She said before she handed him Octavia's training schedule and walking away from him.

Octavia took over Lincoln's job teaching skaikru how to fight. Bellamy decided he would go and talk to Octavia before the day was over, but he definately needed some time to rest and clean up before. When he got to his room he rushed into the shower and layed in bed thinking about everything Raven had said. He knew that she was right, he had to talk to Octavia sooner or later, he just didn't want to let her down anymore. That's all he felt like he had down since they first landed on the ground. Before he could plan out what he was going to say he heard a loud knock on the door. He jumped up put a shirt on and swung the door open. Before he even knew what was happening Clarke scrambled by him and sat right in the middle of his small couch.

"Whats going on?" Bellamy asked, Clarkes never stormed in his room like this before.

"My mom is basically forcing me to work with her in medical again." She snapped. Clarke looked pissed she was red and radiating heat from her body, Bellamy had no trouble realizing that her and her mom had just had a very intense argument about this.

"How is she forcing you exactly?" He sat down on his bed, exactly across from where Clarke sat.

"She said that I am not allowed to leave on missions unless I've logged in a certain amount of hours in medical."

"What are you going to do about it?" He wondered.

"I don't yet. There's really not much I can do. She said that her and Kane believe it's best for me. And since Kane assigns missions, and him and my mom are pratically married, there's really nothing I can do." She explained.

"You can just log your hours, I mean it won't be that bad will it? You use to love helping people."

"I still love helping people, I just hate working with my mom, she constantly bugs me about getting things back to normal, as if anything that's happened in my entire life has ever been normal."

"Okay well you can always just work when your mothers off duty?" He suggested.

"That'd be great, if only I could know exaclty when she worked." Clarke sighed.

"Raven has acess to everyones work schedule, she gave me Octavia's in an attempt to push me to fix things between us, I could ask her for your moms. I'm sure she'll give it to me."

"That'd be amazing!" Clarke shouted, "I know it seems petty, but I really can't stand how my mom constantly bothers me about getting things back to normal. As if anything in my entire life has ever been normal." Clarke ranted.

"What else did she say to you?" Bellamy asked thinking back to earlier that morning when Abby suggested that they something more was going on between the two of them.

"She basically said that I'm wasting my time and talent going on the missisons with you, and that because of what we've both been through that it's unhealthy for us to spend so much time together."

"And what do you think?" He felt desperate for asking but he couldn't believe that Abby thinks that it'd be better for them to spend less time together. Only the two of them knew what the other was going through, they understood each other better than any one else. Bellamy couldn't imagine not having Clarke around to make him feel better about their past, even though they never talked about it, it was stilll comforting knowing he wasn't alone in it all.

"I think she's completely wrong. You are the only person who know's what I've had to carry with me since we've been here. And it's partly because you've had to carry it all with me. You're my bestfriend Bell, it helps a lot to have someone that knows me better than I know myself."

Bellamy felt extremly relieved that Clarke felt the same way about what they've been through together. He told her that he'd stop by later and give her the schedule. She got up and gave Bellamy a tight hug before she started to leave.

Clarke opened the door but before she closed it behind her she said, "And Bell, Raven's right, you need to make up with Octavia, the two of you are better fighting side by side, rather than against each other." She smiled than closed the door behind her.

Bellamy laid back down in bed. He didn't know why but it still bothered him that Abby didn't want him and Clarke around each other. Just the thought of seeing Clarke less irked him. He cared about Clarke, and would never allow anything bad to happen to her, Abby was ridiculous for thinking otherwise. He found comfort in the fact that Clarke wouldn't allow her mother to seperate them. It proved that she cared about him just as much as he did for her.

Bellamy looked at the night stand next to him and saw the schedule Raven gave him. He thought long and hard about what Raven said and then about what Clarke said right before she left. He discovered that both of them were right, even though he'd never admit it to their faces. He decided that he'd go talk to Octavia first thing in the morning. He spent the next hour rehearsing what he was going to say to her, but before he knew it he was fast alseep.


	3. Chapter 3

Bellamy woke up to the sun shinning through his window, birds chirping from outside, and the satisfying chill that came from the early morning mist. The first thing he noticed when he stepped outside was the smell of the last nights rain. That's one thing he never thought he would ever get used to; the many scents that the Earth held. On the ark it always smelled the same where no matter where you went. But on Earth not one smell was the same, it was always new and exciting to him.

He stopped in the cafeteria to get something to eat, he was hoping to find Clarke or Raven to consult with them about what he was going to say to Octavia, but neither of them were there. He saw Miller and Monty sitting in the corner and headed that way.

"Hey, guys." Bellamy sat next to Miller who was sitting across from Monty. He hadn't really spoken to either of them, only ever so often. He felt that if he could repair some of the distant friendships he caused, maybe he'd be more likely to repair his and Octavia's relationship.

"Bellamy, what's up?" Miller replied. Bellamy didn't expect either of them to act so normally around him. But there was no tension from him being their. Everyone seemed so normal.

"Just thought I'd see how you guys were doing, it's been a while since we've all talked before." Bellamy looked down, both Miller and Monty could see the regret on his face.

"It's okay, we've all been through a lot. We're all still healing. But were going to be okay, all of us." Monty responded, knowing that Bellamy blamed himself for the distance between all of the delinquents.

"Well I'm glad y'all are doing good," Bellamy smirked, stood up, took and apple of his tray, and proceeded, "I should get going though, I have something I need to take care of."

Monty and Miller nodded and continued eating while Bellamy walked out of the cafeteria. Bellamy headed straight to Octavia's training room. She didn't start for another 20 minutes, but wanted to be their waiting when she came in.

He sat their waiting for what felt like an eternity before Octavia walked through the doors. He jumped up to his feet, ready to say everything he planned to, but he couldn't manage to make the words come out.

They stood there staring at each other, silently studying one another. They hadn't had any contact since they defeated Alie and got home. They avoided any interactions, too afraid to make eye contact. Bellamy didn't know how to break the silence. He had rehearsed all night what he was going to say to his sister, but he was completely speechless.

"Bellamy?" Octavia whispered. She took a step closer than stopped, "Wha- What are you doing here?" She spoke more firmly this time.

Bellamy wasn't sure but he knew he had to say something. "I, um- I miss you, O." His voice cracked while forcing the words out of his mouth.

"You don't talk to me for months, and you come here to say you miss me?" She wasn't angry but she definitely wasn't pleased by his words.

"Octavia, listen-"

"No," She cut him off, "I can't, I won't. You can't come back six months later and apologize. It's too late Bellamy." She almost let a tear fall from her eye, but took a deep breath in, and turned to leave the room.

"Octavia, wait." He snapped. "It's not too late." He said with hope. She didn't respond but lowered her hand from the door handle still turned facing away from him. "You're my baby sister O. I need my sister."

"I needed my brother too Bellamy." One single tear fell from her eye, but she still couldn't turn to face him.

"I'm right here Octavia, I always have been, I always will be. I know I've made horrible mistakes, and I'm living with them trust me. But I never lost sight of how much you mean to me. I'll do anything to fix this, Octavia please let me fix this." He pleaded, he meant every single word. This wasn't planned or rehearsed, the words he spoke came straight from his heart.

"When Lincoln died, something inside of me died with him," she began to cry more, tear after tear falling from each eye, but she whipped them from her cheeks and turned around to face him, "I don't know how to fix this Bellamy. You're my brother, and I will always love you. But I don't know how to look at you without thinking of that day." She wasn't able to hold back the tears anymore, she looked at him one last time, feeling almost guilty as she could tell by his face that he was hurt and tortured. She turned around and walked out of the door leaving Bellamy unsure of how he felt, and very unsure of what to do know.

He walked back to his room, avoiding anyone who would try and talk to him. He wanted to be alone. He never forgot how heartbroken Lincoln's death was to Octavia, but hearing her tell him he was a reminder of that pain, was like a stab in the heart.

He managed to make it to his room with out any interactions. He immediately got in the shower. He stood there with the hot water running down his aching body, desperately wishing it was night so he could just try to get some sleep. But unfortunately the day had barely started. He had no plans of leaving his room, and swore he wouldn't answer if anyone came knocking. Once he go out of the shower he put on a pair of shorts and laid in bed. He pulled out his journal from his nightstand drawer and began to write in it:

Talking to Octavia for the first time was the hardest thing I've had to do in months. She wanted nothing to do with me. But I can't blame her. She lost the one person she loved the most. How can I expect her to forgive me when I can't even forgive myself. But from now on I will do nothing less than what she deserves. I will do everything I can to protect her from hurting like that ever again. My sister, my responsibility. I will never lose sight of that again. Not for my people, not for myself, not even for Clarke.

Clarke. I don't know what it is about her. She gives me hope. She's the stroke of light in all the darkness in my life. Before I thought that I would never care anyone but Octavia. But she believed in me. She believed in me when no one else did, not even myself. She's the reason I haven't given up. Her strength inspires me. She makes me stronger, she makes me want to keep fighting to live. And before I knew it I found myself drawn to her. I don't know how to put my feelings for Clarke into words, it could have been love, but with everything that's happened how am I suppose to know for sure? All I knew right now was...

He turned the page to continue writing but realized he ran out of pages. Sighing deeply, he closed the journal and placed it on the top of the bed-side table. Without even realizing it he was starving. His stomach rumbled and he knew he'd have to leave to get food. He started to get up, dreading the fact that he had to leave his room, but before he could put on a shirt he heard a knock on the door. He debated whether or not to answer it or silently ignore it until they left. But in the desperate thought that it might be Octavia he decided to answer it. When he opened the door, he was greeted by a half-smiling Clarke. Although he wished for it to be Octavia, he wasn't that disappointed at seeing Clarke standing there.

"Hey, sorry to come unannounced. I brought lunch." She gave him a apologetic look as she held up a basket.

"It's fine, do you want to come inside?" He asked.

"I was actually hoping that we can go to the place by the river?" She requested, Bellamy could tell that she was desperate to leave. Luckily he didn't want to be there any more than Clarke did.

"Okay, but how are we going to leave without your mom knowing?"

"I talked to Raven she's going to sneak us out." Clarke turned to the side and took a step back, giving Bellamy room to close the door behind him and leave the room.

"Raven know's were leaving together?" He knew that once they got back Raven would be waiting to attack him with a thousand questons. He was never going to hear the end of this.

"Yeah I thought you guys were friend's, we can find another way out if you want, I can-"

"No were friends it's fine." Bellamy knew Raven wouldv'e found out they left together one way or another, this way at least it was convinent for him. They headed towards the back of the wall, where they would always sneak out before. Raven was there waiting, pretendind to read in case someone walked by and saw her standind there. She exploded to her when she saw them approach.

"Hey, so yall can leave now but you have to be back before dark otherwise I won't be able to dis-arm the walls defense system." She said before turning to Bellamy and giving him a look that only the two of them understood. Clarke noticed their odd exchange but ignored it because she knew it wasn't any of her business.

"Alright lets go Bell." She looked at him and gestured for him to go first. He climed through the gate and took the basket from Clarke allowing her to get through with ease. As they walked Bellamy was much more quiet than usual, Clarke noticed and immeadiately knew something was wrong. She waited a while before saying anything in hopes that he would be the first to bring it up.

"Bellamy?" She asked with worry on her face.

He looked over at her and saw her expression, "Yeah, are you okay?" He instantly responded.

"Funny, I was just going to ask you the same." Clarke looked up a Bellamy.

He knew know that she caught onto his mood and took a deep breath, "Yeah I'm fine," He tried hard to smile at her, but knew the only thing she saw was the look of disapointment on his face.

"No, you're not," She grabbed his arm, stoping him from walking futher, "talk to me, Bellamy, please."

Bellamy brought his hands to his face and looked up at the sky, "I tried to talk to Octavia today."

Although Clarke knew that it probaby didn't go well and that Bellamy was clearly upset over it, she couldn't help feel relieved that it wasn't about Raven, he seemed bothered that she was helping us, and she notived the tension between them, "Oh, how'd that go?" She asked already knowing the answer.

"As you can probably assume, not too great." He inhaled and exhalded, trying to hold back tears.

"What did she say?" Clarke knew Bellamy didn't want to talk about it, but much like her, she knew he needed to.

"Basically that she couldn't forgive me, that I'm unforgivable." He looked down as a single tear fell from his eye to the ground.

"You're not unforgivable, she will come around Bellamy." She grabbed him arm, comforting him, letting him know that he wasn't alone.

"I'm not so sure she will this time." He looked back up in Clarke and saw pain in her eyes, much like the pain in his.

"You're trying, as long as you keep doing that she will forgive you. Just don't lose hope, it's all we have left sometimes." She rubbed his arm all the way down to his wrist, but before she got to his hand she let go.

"I won't, thanks Clarke." He owed her so much more than just a thank you, but he knew that it keepings to a simple thank you was what was best. Clarke and Bellamy continued futher. It was silent between the two of them, but it wasn't uncomfortable, in fact it was quite the most comfotable either of them had been all day. Just being in each others presence was enough to calm their nerves.

Before they knew it they were already at the river, and then in their speacial, secret, secluded spot. Clarke found a nice spot under a tall oak tree and sat down, Bellamy followed right after. She pulled out some apples and some carrots and than two sandwiches. They ate in peacfully, just soaking in the tranquillity.

They ate quickly and layed down looking at the sky, both remembering there time on the ark. "Bellamy why didn't we ever meet on the ark, I barely remember you." Clarke randomly asked.

"Really?" Bellamy laughed at Clarkes question.

She leaned up over him on one elbow, with a puzzled look, "Yes really?" she didn't understand his reaction.

He laughed once again and said, "Clarke the reason I started calling you princess wasn't just because you look like a princess. You mother was a part of the council and I was a janitor. How would we have ever been friends?" He looked at her and laughed again. Although Clarke did not find it amusing.

"I can't believe you think we couldn't have been friends!" She sassed.

"We hated each other the minute we first talked on the dropship." Laughing at her appauled face.

"Well look at us now." She bragged, as she laid back down on her back.

"Yeah look at us now. Still arguing." He mocked and smiled when he heard he laugh.

"Mhm, some things never change." She looked over at him only to see he was already looking at her.

They starred smiling at each other before Bellamy added, "And hopefully they never will."

Clarke let out a quick giggle before turning her head back to the sky. Shortly after they made their way back to camp. They were almost too late, the sun was setting when they arrived, calling Raven on the radio. She hurried over and let them in. Surprisingly no one really noticed their absense when they while there were gone which was a relief to both. Bellamy and Clarke said good night heading back to their seperate rooms.

Raven followed Bellamy almost all the way back, asking question after question, to which Bellamy didn't respond to any of them. He promised her that they could meet up and talk about things tomorrow over breakfast. Once he got back into his room he noticed Octavia's work schedule still laying on the table. At first the reminder of their incounter hit him hard upsetting him, but he thought back to the words Clarke used to comfort him and it brought his mind back to ease. He laid in bed all night unable to sleep. He was lost in his thoughts about Octavia. He missed his sister more than anything and wated to gain her trust back. Somewhere between thinking of Octavia and trying desperatly to fall asleep he thought of taking up Kane's offer and re-joining the gaurd. Yesterday the idea of joining the gaurd was out of the question to him, but now he figured if he could show Octavia that he could handle being in charge without getting anyone hurt, that maybe-just maybe, she could look at him like the hero he used to be to her.


	4. Chapter 4

Clarke slept in all morning. She was tired from the trip with Bellamy the day before. She woke up and laid in bed. She planned on laying there until she fell back asleep, but a knock on her door forced her to get out of bed. She stood up, a cold breeze sent chills down her body. She grabbed a jacket and put it on. When she opened the door, her mom was standing there. She stood there waiting for Clarke to let her inside.

"What do you need mom?" Annoyed by her mom showing up, she moved to the side and allowed her inside anyways.

Abby walked past Clarke and stood in front of the bed. "Clarke I just want to talk." Her voice cracked.

"Okay," She responded, she closed the door behind her and took a few steps towards her mom, "what do you want to talk about?" She responded with sarcasm.

"I just," Abby inhaled, " I want us to be okay again." She took a step closer.

"I do too mom, but the only way that will happen is if you stop treating me like I'm still a kid." Clarke admitted. She always knew that her mom was always doing what she thought was best, she just wished she'd listen to her more.

"I just want to keep you safe, I can't lose you again." She said fighting back tears.

"I'm not going to leave again, and I can take care of myself I promise." Clarke explained, she was less firm when she spoke this time.

"I can't help but worry, you're my daughter. I will always worry and do whatever I can to keep you safe." She lectured to Clarke.

"It's okay to worry, that's not the problem. The problem is you forcing me to do things that I've made clear I don't want to do, it's trying to keep me and Bellamy apart when you know how close we are. You don't just worry mom, you try and control me."

Abby knew it was wrong to force things upon her daughter, but she had gotten so reckless since she landed on the ground, she was always the first to sign up for danger. She didn't know what else to do. "I understand Clarke, but there's something you don't understand; when you left and I had no idea where you were, I didn't know if you were alive or dead. I couldn't breath, the thought of never seeing you again almost killed me." There was no way of holding back her tears anymore, small droplets fell from her eyes.

"But I'm here now. I'm not leaving again. If you would just stop smothering me, everything would be fine. We would be fine." Clarke reassured.

Abby looked at Clarke, still crying, she took exhaled and than inhaled sharply, "I know you're not going to leave again. But every time you walk out of those gates, I'm never sure that you're going to come back or not. So for the four or five days that you are gone, I can't breathe." Abby paused, wiped her tears with her sleeve and began speaking again, "Despite what you and Bellamy may think, the two of you are not invincible. One day you will get hurt, and I couldn't live if anything happened to you."

Clarke never thought about what her mom felt when she was gone. She never realized how hard it must have been on her. This realization opened her eyes. Her mothers decisions made since now. "I'm sorry," Clarke said, "I never even imagined how hard this had been on you too. But mom you need to remember that this has been hard on all of us. I need to deal with this my own way. But I promise from now on I will tell you before I leave, and I will keep in contact with you the entire time. Bellamy and I are friends, and I will continue to be his friend."

Abby's tears had stopped now, she closed her eyes to re-collect her self. "Okay, I won't force you into things anymore. You don't have to work in medical anymore, unless you want to. Just be careful with Bellamy I don't want to see you get hurt."

"I will mom, I promise." A small smile grew onto Clarke's face. She walked towards her mom and gave her a hug. She knew now that her mom was hurting and not just being a control freak. Abby said a bit more about talking more later and how she loved Clarke then left. Clarke knew she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep so she threw on some clothes and headed out. She actually headed to medical, it seemed like a much better idea now that it was her idea and not hers moms.

On her way there she saw Bellamy talking to Kane, she stopped and watched hoping to catch him afterwards. She could tell just by standing from a distance that there conversation was important. Bellamy stood tall, with his shoulders back and his head held high. She hadn't seen him like that in a while. She felt pleasure in knowing that the day seemed to be going good for both of them. Once they finished talking and Bellamy started walking the other way, Clarke ran after him.

"Bellamy!" Clarke yelled.

He turned around and waited for her to catch up with him, he smiled when she finally reached him.

"Hey Princess, what's up?"

Clarke rolled her eyes and smiled. "I saw you talking to Kane. He still bothering you about joining the guard or what?" She asked.

"Actually, I'm re-joining , I start tomorrow." He said with a smirk on his face.

"Wow." Clarke was surprised. "I thought you were't ready. What changed?"

"I decided that, I'm my best self when I'm helping others. We can't hide anymore Clarke." He said while walking forward.

Clarke followed Bellamy, "Well it just happens that me and mom just talked and I think things are starting to get better between us. So it looks like we both took a step forward today." She smiled.

"That's good Clarke, I'm proud of you for working things out with your mom." He smiled back.

"Well we still have a lot to fix before I'd say we're on good-terms again, but things are definitely headed in that direction."

"Well that's still great." She looked forward. "Are you still under-advisory to stay away from me?" He said in a teasing manner, but underneath it he was actually curious to know.

"No, not anymore, at least I don't think so." She claimed. "She just warned me to be carefully, she doesn't want me to get hurt." Clarke repeated her mothers words like they were ridiculous to be thought.

"What does she mean she doesn't want you to get hurt?" He stopped walking, turned to her, and laughed a little.

"I honestly have no idea," Clarke admitted, "You're like the only person I know for a fact won't hurt me." She seemed more serious now than she was before.

"Well you're right, I would never hurt you." He paused before continuing, "Well aside from you're moms random new distaste of me, I'm glad y'all are working things out." He smiled and once again they continued to walk forward.

"My mom doesn't hate you," She joked, " she's just very over protective I guess."

"Well you should reassure her that I'm not planning on pushing you off a bridge anytime soon." He laughed and they stopped again, only because they were now at the medical center.

"Well I'll be sure to do that." She smiled, "I'll see you later Bell." She walked inside and began studying out of some old books.

On the way back to his room Bellamy got stopped by Raven. She reminded him that he owed her a lunch, and so they walked to the cafeteria to grab some. They sat in their usual spot in the corner of the cafeteria. "So why are we having lunch again?" Bellamy asked.

"Because you snuck off on a secret picnic with Clarke yesterday, and I want to know what happened." Raven reminded him.

"Well we ate and talked about Octavia, and her mom, than about our lives on the ark than we came home. Happy?" Bellamy said with a sarcastic smile.

"So there was no talk about your feelings towards each other? Nothing like that?" Raven was practically interrogating him at this point.

"No, Raven like I've said a thousand times before, me and Clarke are just friends." He exasperated.

"You act like I'm the only one that can see it. What do you think people say when the two of you are gone for days on your little 'trips?'"

"It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, because Clarke and I are just friends." He disclosed.

"Well if you ever decide to stop lying to yourself, I'll be here to help you figure out how to win Clarke's heart." She mocked.

Bellamy rolled his eyes. "So I went and talked to Octavia yesterday." He became more stern with the mention of his sister.

Raven jumped out of surprise, "And why am I barely hearing about this now?" She hissed.

"Because I left yesterday. And all you ever want to talk about is Clarke so its your "

Well tell me now than." She demanded.

"Nothing happened. She told me it was to hard for her to forgive me." He looked down at his tray of food.

"Well you barely started to try and fix things give it time." She reassured him.

"I know, I'm not giving upon her yet, she's my sister. I can't give up on her." He looked back up, and spoke with pride in his voice.

The two continued to talk for an hour before Bellamy stopped by Kane's office. He had to pick up a gaurds jacket for his first day back at work tomorrow. He felt really good about going back. Better than he expected. Kane told him he was proud of him, it made him feel accomplished and worthy. Kane's approval meant a lot to him. He was like a father to Bellamy in many ways. Once he got back to his room, he laid in bed and read one of the books Clarke had given him to read. He read for a few hours before he realized how late it had gotten. He got up to take a shower and get ready for bed. He showered for a long hour and while reaching for his towel he slipped on the wet floor and hit his head on the corner of the counter. He stood up and saw in the mirror the giant gash at the top of his head. He wanted to just put a bandage on it and go to bed, but he knew if Kane found out he didn't get it checked out he wouldn't let him start tomorrow.

He made his way to the medical center. He wasn't sure who he hoped would be in there, if it were Clarke he would never hear the end of this, but if it were Abby he was afraid she'd bring up Clarke. But he knew he had to go, once inside he saw Abby checking on a patient of hers. She looked up and noticed a pale, bloody Bellamy standing in the doorway. She rushed over to him, guiding him to a bed. He hadn't really felt dizzy until he got there.

"Bellamy what happened?" Abby questioned as she got out the tools to stitch up the wound.

"I slipped in the shower, and I- um, I hit my head" Bellamy stuttered, he could barely find the words to speak.

"Well I'm going to have to stop the bleeding and stitch you up, okay?" She pulled out a needle from the bottom drawer.

"Whe-where's-"

"It's going to be hard for you to speak, you have a concussion." She interrupted.

"Wheres Clarke?" He slurred.

"Bellamy lay down, I'll go get Clarke once I get the stitches done." She informed. "Now it's very important that you do not go to sleep no matter what, you have to stay awake." She turned around and saw Bellamy laying there with his eyes closed. She dropped the shot she was about to give him, ran to the closet and pulled out an even bigger needle. She ran back to Bellamy and stuck it into his harm. In that instant Clarke walked in and saw Bellamy laying on the hospital bed unconscious. She ran straight to him.

"Mom! What happened?!" She demanded an answer.

"He came in with a head wound, it must have been worse than it seemed, he fainted almost as soon as I sat him down. He's lost too much blood, Clarke you need to go get some O- blood bags now."

"Why didn't you come get me as soon as he got here?!" She ignored her mother.

"Clarke we don't have time go get the blood now." Abby ordered her.

She ran out of the room once she came out of shock and understood what her mother needed. She ran so fast to the blood bags, she almost got the wrong kind. She grabbed four bags of O- and rushed herself back. By the time she got there, Bellamy's IV was already put in, Clarke hung the blood and connected everything needed to flow the blood into his body. She let out a deep breath and pulled up a chair next to his bed. Abby was standing on the other side, making sure everything was okay. She saw how worried Clarke was. She never understood their relationship, they cared for each other so much, it almost drove them crazy at times. "He's going to be okay, I promise." Clarke nodded her head in understanding, but didn't say anything. After an hour or so Abby told Clarke that she was going to head off to bed but that Clarke could stay with Bellamy over night. This wouldn't have been allowed for anyone else but Abby knew that there was no point in trying to fight her over this. She left them there alone and went to her room to shower and sleep.

Clarke stayed up for hours watching over Bellamy. She knew that this kind of thing happened all the time, and that her and her mother did everything right. She knew that he would wake up on his own and that the chances of him not waking up were almost nothing. But she couldn't help feel useless, not able to do anything but there and wait.

"Please, Bellamy you have to wake up soon. You can't leave me here alone. I still have to make fun of you for falling in the shower and causing this whole mess." She grabbed his hand and laid her head on the side of his bed. After a while she fell asleep, his hand in hers. The entire night she slept without moving her hand away from his. Abby walked in before morning to check on him. She was surprised to see Clarke still sitting by his side. She did a quick check up on Bellamy then left them. She didn't want to wake Clarke, this was probably one of the only times Clarke slept through the night and she didn't want to interrupt it. So she quietly slipped out of the door and left them to sleep until morning.


	5. Chapter 5

Bellamy opened his eyes, he's vision was blurry, his memory was foggy, and he had the biggest headache. He looked around the room trying to remember how he got there. The first thing he saw was Clarke sleeping in a chair next to him, gripping his hand. "Clarke?" He tried to say but he could barely talk, his throat was so dry. He squeezed her hand tighter trying wake her up, it took her a moment but she eventually raised her head and slowly opened her eyes. Once she realized that Bellamy was awake she jumped up to her feet pulling her hand from his.

"Bellamy you're awake!" She rejoiced. "Hold on I'll get you some water." She ran over to the sink and got him a tall glass of water. She walked back over and helped him take a drink.

"What happened?" He asked once he finished drinking.

"You don't remember?" Clarke smirked.

"No, but from the look of your face, I'm not sure I want to know." He closed his eyes, the headache still wasn't going away. He reachced his hand up but before he could touch his forhead Clarke grabbed his hand.

"You fell," she smiled, "in the shower. So you had to get stitches, so don't touch you head." She giggled and let go of his hand.

"Great, you're never going to forget this are you?" He said looking at her.

"Nope." Clarke smiled.

Bellamy looked at her sitting there in the clothes she was wearing yesterday. "Did you stay here all night?" He asked already knowing that she did.

"Yeah, you passed out, so I wanted to stay and make sure you were okay." She seemed almost embarassed that she freaked out so much.

"Well you didn't have to do that, you could've at least slpet in a normal bed." He teased. "But I've been hit in the head and beaten before, why did I pass out this time?"

"You bleed. A lot. And you had a concussion. So we had to refill you're body with blood. You scared me." She admitted.

"Why?" He smirked.

Clarke shook her head, ignoring his question she got up and pulled got a shot out of the drawer next to Bellamy's bed. "Here," she said while she stabbed the needle into his arm, "this will help with the pain, you head must be kiiling you."

"Yeah it is, so when do I get to leave?" He sat up in his bed.

"You can leave now, if you feel up to it, but you'll have to take it easy," she warned, "you have to tell Kane you can't start back on gaurd until tomorrow."

Bellamy turned and stood up, Clarke helped him up, he didn't think he needed it but he let her help anyways. She walked him all the way back to his room. "Do you want me to stay with you for a while?" Clarke asked.

"No, I'll be fine. Go shower and change your clothes, you can come check on me later."

She nodded her head, "You find me if you need anything, Bellamy, I mean it." She walked out of the door and went back to her room. She took a shower, and headed back to medical to talk to her mom.

As she walked into medical she saw her mom talking to Raven about her leg. She walked over to the two of them, "Hey, eveything okay?" Clarke asked.

"Yeah just a check up." Raven answered as she stood up.

"How's Bellamy?" Abby asked.

"He's fine, I took him back to his room and told him to take it easy for a little while." Clarke responded.

"What happened to Bellamy?" Raven was curious.

"He slipped and hit his head." Clarke and Raven both giggled.

"Have you gotten breakfast yet?" Raven asked still laughing.

"No, you wanna go grab something eat real qucik?" Clarke offered.

"Yeah, lets go." She said walking towards the door.

"I'll come back later and check in." Clarke told her mom as she followed Raven out.

They got to the cafeteria and sat somewhere in the middle. Raven wanted to see if Clarke felt the same way about Bellamy as he did for her. She wasn't sure how to say it so she just blurted it out. "How do you feel about Bellamy?"

Clarke was shocked and confused. No one ever asked her about Bellamy so she never really had to adress it. "Um, he's my friend, what do you mean?" She answered.

"Nothing I was just curious." Raven said and smiled, she wanted to ask more but knew Bellamy would be livid.

"Why do you guys like together?," it made sense to Clarke, she always saw them talking and eating together, she just thought Bellamy would have told her something. "Raven, I'm sorry if you think I've over stepped, I'll back off, I'm sorry." Clarke did not want to repeat the Finn situatio, her and Raven had come so far since they first met and they were really good friends now, she didn't want to risk that.

"Oh me and Bellamy?" Raven couldn't help but laugh. "Not a chance, he's like my brother. Well we slept together once, but it was forever ago and now the thought of it grosse-"

Wait? You and Bellamy slept together?" Clarke interupted. She was relieved to know that they weren't dating, she really enjoyed spending time with Bellamy and didn't want that to change. But she was completely shocked to know that they had slpet together.

"Yeah I assumed you knew. But there's nothing going on between us." Raven was amused by Clarkes reaction. This just proved that she was right, that she and Bellamy did have more going on than what they were willing to admit.

"No you don't have to explain, it just suprised me." Clarke looked away feeling unsure about how she felt about this news.

"Yeah well you guys are just friends anyways." Raven teased, she loved being right.

"Yeah of course." Clarke faked a smile and stood up. "I should get back to my mom, I'll see you later Raven."

"Bye Clarke." She smiled and stood up to leave. Raven couldn't wait to tell Bellamy what just happened. She knew that he would be furious, but it didn't matter, becuase she was right all along and now Bellamy had no reason to argue.

Clarke was on her way back to medical trying to focus on that, but couldn't. She wondered why Raven brought that up, maybe Bellamy felt something more about her. But she knew that was impossible and ridiculous. Of course she loved him, she never knew if it was more than a friendship. She definitely knew that he didn't see her that way. But she had lost too many people she loved to let herself feel that way for Bellamy. She finally got back to medical and burried herself into work to distarct herself.

Meanwhile, Raven rushed to Bellamy's room. She didn't even bother knocking she just bardged in. "Why didn't you tell me you got hurt?" She scolded.

Bellamy didn't have time to react fast enough, he starred at her before answering, "I was unconsious, and I barely woke up a few hours ago." He was calm and cautious.

"Well someone should have told me. Are you okay?" She sat down by his feet on the bed.

"Yeah I'm fine." He said while stting up. "I was almost asleep when you bardged in her." He was disapointed.

"Well there's no time for sleep." Raven sat staright up and had a big smile on her face.

"What are you talkingabout?" Bellamy already regretted asking.

"So I went and ate lunch with Clarke today," Raven said as she stood up and walked back and forth. "It turns out that she likes you a lot more than either of you will admit." She turned facing him with a smirk on her face.

Bellamy shot up, and gave Raven the exact look she had expected to get. "What did you say to her Raven?!" He was furious.

"Nothing, she just freaked out a little bit when she thought we were together." She defended herself.

" Why would she think we're together?" He asked sarcastically.

"Because I might have asked her how she felt about you." Raven admitted in guilt.

Bellamy sighed and put his head down into his hands. "Why would you do that?" He asked but before she got the chance to explain he interrupted, "you know what ever relationship Clarke and I have it's none of your business. You should have stayed out of it, rather than trying to force something to happen that's not meant to be, at least not right now." Raven stood there and looked at Bellamy unsure of what to say, "Raven just please go." He told her gesturing towards the door.

Before she left she looked at him and said, Bellamy I'm sorry I over stepped, but it's not forced, you two have slowly been pulled together since we landed, and everyone can see it but the two of you. It's time to stop punishing yourself and really let yourself be happy." She gave him one last glance and walked out of the door. Bellamy layed back down thinking about what Raven said, he knew she may have been right about somethigs but there was no way that him and Clarke were ready to be anything than just more than friends, not now, and maybe not ever. All he knew is that he cared about her so much that he would be never risk ruing the friendship and partnerahip they had.

Bellamy was tires of laying in bed. He decided he would go find more paper to write on since his hournel was all use up. Then he would take a trip to his and Clarke's place. He felt weird about going with out her, but he didn't know anywhere else he could be alone and just think. So he packed enough food for a day grabbed some scratch paper, and snuck out of camp unnoticed.


	6. Chapter 6

Clarke headed back to Bellamy's room, she wanted to make sure that he was okay. She got to his door and knocked but received no answer. She waited a bit before punching in the lock code that Bellamy had given her and opening the door. She knew that he had probably just been sleeping but she didn't want to risk something being wrong. When she opened the door and Bellamy was no where to be found she went looking for him. The cafeteria was closed and he wasn't in medical. She checked with Kane and Raven, but no luck. Once she realized that he wasn't anywhere in camp, she knew exactly where he went.

Clarke stopped by her moms office to tell her that she was going to go find Bellamy. At first her mom was reluctant towards the idea of Clarke leaving so late in the day but she knew that when it concerned Bellamy, there was no way of stopping her. Clarke gave her mom a radio and told her she'd let her know immediately if anything went wrong. Worried that he had gotten hurt, she rushed out of camp, Bellamy hit his head really hard and had a pretty bad concussion, with too much stress on his body he could have easily fainted. Clarke was so lost in her thoughts that she barely noticed that she had already been walking for a few hours, she was surprised when she had gotten to the river in what felt like so little time. The water was calm as she walked along the side she could feel the cold air that came from it. She reached the open field and saw Bellamy laying against a tree that towered over him. Clarke ran up to him and checked his pulse, it was strong and his body temperature felt normal, so she knew he was okay. She wanted to wake him up and yell at him for leaving alone without telling her, but as she noticed how peaceful he looked while lying there asleep she couldn't wake him, instead she sat next to him, extremely relieved that nothing had happened to him. She noticed the stack of papers next to him. She couldn't help but pick them up. She lost count of how many times she found him outside writing in his journal at night. She noticed how he would get lost in his writing, like he was going to another place when he wrote, she always wanted to know what he wrote about, but never wanted to ask. The curiosity was killing her, she knew it was wrong but began to read what he had written on the paper.

 _"Today was not expected. I can't believe I fell and hit my head in the shower. I can't believe I fainted and Clarke had to take care of me. I can't believe she stayed with me all night. Waking up and seeing her there was probably the only good thing that came out of the entire situation. A year ago I never would have believed that Clarke Griffin would be my best friend. I never would have guessed that she would mean so much to me. But here I am, and I can't stop thinking about her. I love that girl more than I thought humanly possible. I'm tired of lying to myself. I love her. But not even love is worth risking our friendship, at least not right now..."_

Clarke put the papers down back where she found them, there was much more written but she couldn't bring herself to read it, she was in complete shock over what she already read. She always thought of her as nothing more than his best friend. She looked at him sleeping there, remembering all that they had been through together, everything they've done for each other. She always knew that she loved Bellamy, she just never knew if it could be anything more than what it already was. Clarke looked down at him, he laid there so still and so calm, he face was relaxed and his curly hair blew slightly in the in wind. A single tear fell from her eye, she knew that she could love Bellamy Blake in way far beyond friendship, she knew she could let him in and love him more than anything, but she knew he was right. Their friendship was so rare and precious. It was near impossible to find a friendship like Bellamy's and Clarke's, she couldn't imagine her life without it. If things didn't work out and she lost him, she wouldn't know what to do. If she let him in, if she allowed herself to feel all that she was capable of feeling for him, it would destroy her to lose him, she wasn't ready for that, and she knew he wasn't either. She knew that keeping things how they were was the best option.

She dug into he bag and pulled out two small blankets she placed one on Bellamy. She laid down with the blanket and attempted to get some sleep. The air was warm around them, with a cool breeze coming from the river. Clarke loved this weather. She fell asleep quickly and without realizing it, rolled over close to Bellamy.

When Bellamy woke up and found Clarke clinging to his body, he was rushed with confusion. He remembered leaving camp, but did not know when Clarke got there or when he fell asleep with her. He was hit with the sharp pain in his head, reminding him of the embarrassing accident, Clarke woke up, she looked at Bellamy and got up and went straight for her bag.

"Sorry I didn't mean to wake you." Bellamy watched Clarke digging in her bag.

"No it's okay," She was about to say something else, but pulled out a small container of medicine, "here it is!" She shouted. She handed Bellamy the container and instructed him to drink the entire thing. He mad a face of disgust and took a big swig of water after downing the purple liquid. "Not that I'm not happy you're here, but when did you get here?" Bellamy asked.

"I took off as soon as I realized you weren't at camp," She scolded, "when I got here you were already asleep, I didn't want to wake you." Her voice got softer as she remembered what she did when she found him. Now she regretted reading the paper. Looking at his face, knowing how they felt about each other, she knew this was going to be hard.

"Sorry I was so tired of sitting in my room I needed to get out of there." Bellamy explained.

"Well next time you could at least let me know." She returned to her normal sternness.

"I usually would have, but I knew you would have never let me go." He smiled and took another drink of his water.

"You're right I wouldn't have." She said as she looked at the large cut on his forehead.

"Well everything's alright, sorry I didn't tell you." He joked with an even bigger smile on his face.

Clarke faked a smile back, she knew that things were not okay. It was going to be harder than hell to pretend that everything was normal. The more she thought about it the more she realized that while nothing seemed to change everything felt different. "We should get going home." She stood up and put the blankets back in to the back-pack. "Alright," Bellamy stood up, "Let's go."

The walk back home was quiet, Bellamy sensed something was wrong but when he asked she just put it off as not feeling well. He didn't want to pry so he stayed quiet and followed her home. The way back home felt like forever compared to how fast Clarke got there the night before. She felt bad about shutting him out, but before she could talk to Bellamy, she needed to figure out how she was going to deal with this, so she fought the urge to tell Bellamy everything. Once they finally got home Clarke told Bellamy she'd meet up with him later to bring him some pain medicine, and she warned him to take it easy for the rest of the day. Clarke went home showered and headed to let her mom know that she made it home safe.

"Hey mom" Clarke said walking into her office.

"Hey, was Bellamy okay?" She asked without looking up from the stack of of papers on her desk.

Clarke looked down, the last thing she wanted was to be reminded of Bellamy, "Yeah he was fine." Clarke said softly.

"Everything okay?" Abby looked up from her desk and saw Clarke looking to the ground.

"Yeah, I'm just tired." She sighed.

"Do you want to go get some rest you don't have to come into work today." Abby stood up and walked to the front of her desk closer to Clarke.

"No, I'm okay, I'm just gonna go over to see if anybody need treatment." Clarke walked out of her mothers office. when she walked into medical she saw Octavia with a swollen wrist. She walked over to her and began looking at her wrist.

"What happened to you?" Clarke asked while pulling out some cloth to wrap it.

"I was training and I fell on my wrist. It's nothing serious." Octavia answered.

"It looks like you fractured it, Octavia you need to be more careful." Clarke warned.

"Don't." Octavia demanded.

"I'm just trying to help." Clarke explained.

"I don't need your help."

"Octavia you can't keep pushing everyone away. We miss you." Clarke started to wrap her wrist. Octavia looked down but didn't respond. "I mean it, we miss you, Bellamy mis-"

"Don't bring my brother into this. It is none of your business." Octavia interrupted.

"You're right I'm sorry." Clarke apologized, Octavia's words clearly hurt her. She finished wrapping her wrist and put away the unused cloth.

Octavia felt bad about being so harsh. "It's been hard dealing with Lincolns death, I haven't been myself since he died. I don't know if I'll ever be myself again." She looked down to the ground, a few tears fell from her eyes she whipped them off of her face and looked up.

"You don't have to go back to the way things were, they will never be that way again. you just have to move forward, stop living in the past."

"How? Lincoln was my home, how do I move on from that?" Octavia stressed.

"Surround yourself with people that love you, people like your brother." Clarke emphasized on Bellamy's name.

"I'm not ready to forgive my brother."

"Octavia, he's hurting. He needs you." She pleaded.

"Why? He has you." Octavia pointed out as she stood up."

Clarke hesitated "It's not the same."

Octavia sighed, "I'm not gonna talk about this right now. Figure out how you feel about my brother before you try and tell me how I should feel about him."

Clarke was taken back by what she said, she couldn't believe Octavia would say something like that. "I know exactly how I feel about Bellamy, but that is none of your business." She was getting angrier and angrier as she spoke.

"He's my brother how is it none of my business?" Octavia questioned.

"It stopped being your business when you made it clear you didn't anything to do with him," Clarke quipped, she took a deep breath in to calm herself, "you have no idea what's going on in his life don't pretend like you do."

"I know that he's loved you a while now, and I'm pretty sure you feel the same way. So the question is, why are you two still pretending like nothings going on?" Octavia interrogated.

"If you are so concerned with your brothers feelings than why don't you talk to him, why don't you try and fix things Octavia." Clarke digressed.

"I just want him to be happy." She admitted, "I'm done here." She walked away but before she got out of the door, Clarke stopped her.

"You would make him happy, having his sister in his life again. He needs you Octavia." Clarke pleaded.

"Well I can't do that." She turned back around facing Clarke again, "I'm not the same person, I'm not good for him, I'm not good for anyone."

"That's not true, you know he's love you, you're his family, he needs you Octavia, we all do."

Octavia turned back around, "Promise me you guys will stop pretending. Trust me love doesn't come around often. You need to hold onto it before you lose it for good." And with that Octavia walked out of the door.

Clarke went back to her room. She thought hard and long about what Octavia said. A part of her knew it was true, but a part of her still couldn't risk letting herself feel that way. It could destroy her the way it was destroying Octavia. She had already been hurt so much, loosing Bellamy after giving into her feelings she knew she couldn't take it. So she decided she would change nothing. She drew in her room a little trying to distract herself, the roar of her stomach reminded her that she hadn't eaten all day. She headed to the cafeteria, got some food and sat down. Jasper shortly came and joined her.

"Hey Clarke what's up?" He asked as he sat across from her.

"Nothing, just got done working in medical, I was starving." She said with while eating a bright red apple.

"Yeah I heard you went back, good for you." He said sincerely with a smile on his face.

"Yeah," she half smiled, "I heard you've been working with Raven a lot lately how's that going?" She asked.

"It's actually really good, I'm having a lot of fun, we're trying to figure out how to expand the radio out past this area. Kane wants to go out more west." Jasper explained.

"Wow, that's be amazing to see. But what about all that we have here? The ark? Would we just leave it?" Clarke was curious.

"Well he didn't really tell us much but I think they were planning on splitting up and into two stations." He informed.

"That's crazy, I wonder why my mom hasn't said anything to me about it." Clarke was lost in her own thoughts to realize that Jasper had gotten up from the table.

"I don't know but I've got to go Raven needs be." His words snapped her out of it.

"Oh yeah, um, I'll see you later Jasper." She smile ad got up herself. She headed back to her mom's office. She knew that her mom didn't tell her about the new plan for a reason and she was going to find out.


	7. Chapter 7

"You are not serious? You can't do that!" Clarke yelled at her mother, who just told her the news that she would be split up from most if her friends. She was standing at the edge of her mothers desk, Abby sat there looking up at her daughter with a look of guilt and fear.

"I'm sorry Clarke it wasn't my decision to split the camp up." Her mother said with pity.

"But you could have told me, how long have you known about this?" She demanded to know.

"A while now, Kane didn't want the news to get out, not until he decided who would be leaving and who would be staying." Her mother now stood up to face her daughter.

"And?" Clarke ordered.

"And what?" Abby questioned.

"And who is staying and who is leaving?"

"Kane is making an announcement tomorrow morning, just wait and you'll-" Abby didn't have the chance to finish before Clarke interrupted her.

"No, I won't wait tell me." She glared at her mother.

"Or I can just tell you what you really want to know." Abby waited for Clarke to respond but after silence she began to explain to her daughter. "Kane is splitting the guard in half. It was done by complete random, Bellamy is leaving. You are going to stay here, and take care of patients while I travel back and forth looking over your work, only until you no longer need my checking in." Abby explained.

"Why, Why can't he stay, or why can't I go?" She pleaded.

"Kane has worked on this arrangement for months now. He has a reason for everything Clarke, I tried to talk to him, but he won't change his mind."

"I have to do something, I need to go talk to him myself. There's no way this can happen." She said as she stormed out of her mothers office. Clarke couldn't bare the thought of being separated from Bellamy again, not after everything they've been through not after how close they've grown. When she reached Kane's office she barged in without knocking. "Kane we need to talk." She said with and calm but stern voice.

"I'm guessing your mother told you, well have a seat. He spoke softly gesturing to the large char placed in front of his desk.

"This won't take long I promise." She stood there starring at him, Kane finally broke the silence.

"There's nothing you can do to change this Clarke. It is what it is." He revealed.

"It is what it is?" She mocked. "Really? give me a real reason why I have to stay and he has to go." She glared at him, but only to hide the fear of losing Bellamy.

"Listen Clarke, Bellamy needs a new start, and this gives him some what of that. You are needed here, and soon you will realize that. I know you care about him, but so do I, and you have to trust that I'm doing what's best for him." Kane told.

"And since when do you decide what best for him, why don't you let him chose what he want's?" She questioned.

"If I gave him a choice, he would chose to stay here with you, with his sister. But you and I both know that's not what's best for him." He spoke softly.

A small part of Clarke knew he was right, but she didn't want to believe it. She turned around and walked out of his office letting the door slam shut behind her. She went to find Bellamy in his room, but when she got there he wasn't home. She knew he wasn't stupid enough to leave with out telling her again so she sat next to his bed waiting for him to return. She always loved how dark and cozy his room was. She hadn't been in there more than a few times but when she did, it always put her at ease. Everything about it was welcoming the smell of pine, the texture of his many blankets and pillows, it was so comfortable to Clarke. She noticed that the stacks of books next to his nightstand had grown since the last time she was in his room, she was pleased to see a few books she recommended in the pile. After sitting there for a while she began to doze off but the sound of Bellamy entering her room woke her in an instance. She quickly shot straight up.

Bellamy looked her up and down, "Clarke what are you doing here, are you okay?" He said as she stood up facing him."

"Yeah I'm fine it's just," It than dawned on her that she had no idea what she was going to say to him, or why she even waited in his room. It's not like she could admit he feelings for him, that would only make it harder for him to leave. "Um- The camps being split up, you're leaving." His eyes narrowed in trying to understand what Clarke had just said to him.

"What do you mean I'm leaving?" He asked.

"Kane is sending half of the camp to a new location, and you're being sent there, I have to stay behind." She explained to him.

"What? No" He denied, "There has to be something we can do." He shook his head in disbelief.

Clarke took a step closer to him and grabbed his hand. "There isn't I tried talking to Kane, he has his mind made up."

"Well this doesn't have to be goodbye, we will still see each other, we can figure this out together." He squeezed her hand, and smiled half-heatedly.

"You're my best friend Bellamy, I can't lose you again." She admitted.

"Again? You've never lost me." He responded.

"We've just been separated so much, I just can't believe it's happening again."

"It'll be okay Clarke, I promise." He let go of her hand and wrapped his arms around her waist and without hesitation she threw her arms tight around his shoulders.

He slowly released her from his grasp and kissed her lightly on the forehead, "No matter what, you will never loose me, I will always be on your side."He reassured her.

"Thank you Bell, for everything" She smiled.

"Yeah, thank you too Princess," He smiled back and looked at the window, "You should probably get going, it's getting late and you need your beauty sleep." He teased.

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow." She smirked and turned around with a look of disappointment on her face.

"Hey, it's going to be okay Clarke. I swear it." He said before she walked out of his room.

She looked back at him, "I know, it just sucks ya know?" Bellamy nodded and with that Clarke left and headed back to her room, she had trouble falling asleep, but eventually fell deep into sleep.

The morning came quickly, Clarke found a note in the box outside of her door announcing a gathering at noon. She rolled her eyes, crumpled the paper up and attempted to toss it into the trash can across the room, it bounced of the rim and onto the ground, she ignored it and headed for the shower. Clarke dressed quickly and headed to get some food from the crowded cafeteria. Still being pretty upset from the news of her best friend being sent away to who-knows-where, she just wanted to be alone for the rest of the day. But she knew she would have to get up and go to the meeting, not because it was technically mandatory but because she wanted to know when Bellamy was leaving and where he was going. When she made it back to her room she ate quickly and began to pass time by drawing a little. After she finished the sketch she'd been working on for a few days, she checked the time, it was a little over 11:45. Clarke got up and made her way to the front of camp where the meeting was being held. Many people were already there waiting and wondering what this was all about. She tried to look for Bellamy but didn't see him anywhere so found a place with Monty, Miller and Jasper.

"Thank you all for coming." Kane appeared infront of the large crowd, Abby by his side and the additional council members behind the two. "Now before I begin I just want to let everyone know that things are going very well here in Arkadia. So thank you to those of you contributing to this society. Now the reason you are all here is to inform you on new plans in store for us. We have located a new area where we are going to send half of the camp to, they will set up a community there. Now before you start to worry just know I put a lot of thought into who is going and who is staying, I did not split up families, however you may be separated from some you have grown close to. Those leaving will have one month to get there things together and say goodbye. I'm truly sorry for any inconvenience, but once things get settled at the new camp we will give everyone a choice of where to stay, but for now it was chosen based on the need to survive. I have list of who is leaving that will be put in your boxes before eight tonight. It will also come with the location of the new place. If you have any questions feel free to ask me personally or ask member of the council. Thank you all for coming."

As he and the rest of the council left, everyone began to turn and talk about the news they just received. To Clarke's surprise most people weren't very angry about it like she had been when she found out, but not everyone was being split up from their best friend. Clarke eventually spotted Bellamy standing with Murphy and Emori. She walked towards them, none of them seemed very happy to be there. Bellamy because he was still upset about having to leave, and Murphy and Emori just didn't associate with everyone very often it was nearly impossible to get them out of the bedroom long enough to actually have a conversation with the two of them. When Bellamy saw Clarke walking there way his face instantly lit up, Murphy saw and chuckled.

"What?" Bellamy hissed.

"You can't possibly be more obvious can you?" Murphy teased back.

"Whatever Murphy." Bellamy rolled his eyes and smirked.

"Hey guys." Clarke gave off a half smile and blushed up at Bellamy.

"Well you couldn't possibly be more obvious either can you princess?" Murphy joked.

"Hey leave them alone," Emori laughed and nudged him, "let's get going and leave the two of them alone Murphy." She took his hand and walked with Murphy following right behind.

"What was that about?" Clarke laughed.

"I don't know it's Murphy."Bellamy laughed along with her. They both started walking in sync but neither of them spoke. They had no idea what to say, it was just awkward silence until Raven ran up from behind.

"Hey well isn't it two of my favorite people." Raven cheered.

"What's up Raven?" Clarke smiled.

"Nothing I was just heading to the cafeteria to meet Jasper for lunch you guys wanna come?" She offered

"Yeah we'll be there in a minute, I need to talk to Bell real quick."

"Alright," Raven ran ahead of them, "you two have fun." She said suggestingly turning back to look at them.

Bellamy rolled his eyes at her and then looked back down at Clarke, "What if I didnt want to eat lunch with you guys, what if I had plans." He smiled down at her.

"Well considering our lunches are numbered now, you'll just have to cancel whatever plans you had." She joked back at him.

"Well it's a good thing I didn't really have plans." Bellamy admitted. "So what do we need to talk about?" He asked.

"I just want to make sure that we're on the same page." She said.

"What do you mean?" Bellamy's eyebrows narrowed in confusion.

"I know we talked about this last night, but Bellamy when you leave it can't be goodbye, I'm tired of having to say goodbye to the people I love, it just- it can't be goodbye okay." Clarke ranted.

Bellamy looked at Clarke and smiled, she just said she loved him and she didn't even realize it, "Clarke look at me," she looked at him with fear on her face, "it will not be goodbye. I don't care how far apart we are, you're my best friend, no matter what that will not change." He promised.

"Okay, I'm just worried about all this, I really hate it."

"Well you worry too much, just relax okay? Everything's going to be fine, just wait and see I bet barely anything will change." He assured. He smiled and Clarke smiled back. They continued to walk to the cafeteria, without realizing it Clarke had linked her arm with Bellamy's as they entered the Cafeteria. They didn't release each other's arms until sitting down at the table with Raven and Jasper. Although Bellamy did everything he could to reassure Clarke, she still had a horrible feeling that she was losing her best friend, but she ignored it the best she could, and for a while there, talking and laughing with her friends made her forget all about it, and for the rest of the day everything seemed normal. Until she got back to her room and was left alone with her thoughts, the saddness of losing her best friend crept back into her mind and didn't leave until she fell asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

When Clarke woke up that morning, a wave of disappointment washed over her. Today was the last day she had with not only Bellamy, but a majority of her friends were leaving. She had gotten so used to them being there any time she needed them, and vice versa, that the idea of most of them being gone made her sick. Sadly she knew there was nothing she could do, so she got up, got dressed and headed toeet her mother for breakfast. Kane and Abby thought it was a good idea to have a gathering to celebrate the "new chapter," as Kane called it, Arkadia was starting. Clarke agreed to help plan and get things ready, she wasn't happy and didn't approve of split but knew that this would be the last time her and her friends would have together, at least for a while anyway.

"Good morning honey." Abby greeted Clarke with a big smile as she entered her room.

"Hey mom." Clarke half-heartedly smiled back.

"Today's a big day for Arkadia, you sure you want to help with this?" She asked.

"Yeah I want to help, what do we need to get done?"

"Okay, sweetie. Well all that we really need is food preparations and music, were not gonna go all out for decorations, just simple." Abby explained.

When everything for that night was straightened out, Clarke left to go see Bellamy. She knocked quietly on the door before walking in, he was sitting on the bed reading a worn out copy of "Lord of the Flies." He out the book down and stood and braced Clarke in a warm hug. She hugged him back without hesitation. When he finally released her she looked up at him with a forced smile, "what was that for" Clarke asked.

"I could tell by the way you walked and and the look on your face that you needed it." He smiled back and ran the back of his hand on the side of her face.

"You know me so well." She laughed softly.

"Yeah," He smiled back, "now what'd you need me for?"

"I wanted to see you before tonight, to kind of say good-bye before everyone gets in the way." She admitted.

"You know I don't actually leave until tomorrow morning. And trust me, no one can get in the way of Clarke Griffin when she wants something." He teased.

"Well trust me, saying good-bye to you is not something I want, but rather something that has to be done." She smiled and looked down at her hands in her lap.

"Clarke, how many times do I have to tell you that it's going to be okay. We will be able to visit each other and this arrangement is not forever." Bellamy stressed.

"I know I'm just worried that with everything getting in the way you'll find someone else and forget about me." Clarke rested her head on his shoulder.

"I don't think it's possible to forget about the girl you saved the world with." He laughed.

She sighed and turned her head to look him in the eyes. "I just mean, what if without seeing each other every day we drift apart, Bell you've been the only person I don't think I can live without. I'm scared."

"Then let's promise to meet up at least once a week, in the one place we both know we can find each other. And promise me you won't throw yourself into work or something, that you'll still have fun, you deserve it Clarke." He pleaded.

"I promise Bellamy."

"You mean it, every week."

"I mean it." She reassured.

"Okay well then, I'm gonna shower and get ready for this thing tonight."

"Okay well I guess I should go then, I'll see you tonight." She planted a small kiss on his cheeck as she stood up to leave the room.

"Hey princess." Bellamy said right before she walked out of the door way.

"Yeah." She looked back at him.

"I love you, you know that right?"

"Yeah I know." Her eyes subtly lit up as she smiled and walked out the door, she once then realized that Bellamy was all she wanted, and it was so worth every risk, but now he was leaving and itbwas too late.

Later that night, people were all seated waiting for the gathering to start. There was food and music and almost everyone in Arkadia was there. Everyone silenced as Kane stepped out infront of everyone intending to say a few words.

"Thank you everyone for coming tonight, I know that some of you are scared to leave and others sadden to watch them go. But I promise you this will be what is best for everyone. Tonight we gather to say goodbye to those we part from and to celebrate this next step in bettering our community. May we meet again." He raised his glass for a toast followed by a unison "May we meet again" from the people seated before him.

Everyone began to talk umungst themselves, Clarke went looking for Raven to say goodbye and found her, Monty, Miller, Jasper, Bellamy, Harper all together in the back. Raven, Bellamy, Miller and Jasper were all leaving, so she had a lot of goodbyes to make.

"Heeeey Clarke, nice of you to come say goodbye." Jasper teased.

"Of course I'd say goodbye, you guys are like family." She smiled back at him.

"Not for much longer it feels like." Harper disappointedly mentioned.

"Hey just because some of us are leaving doesn't change anything." Raven corrected.

"Harper's right, you guys are the only family I have left and most of you guys I won't see anymore." Monty admitted.

"We're still gonna be family, when we landed together most of us couldn't stand each other, and look at us now, no matter where we are on this planet we will always be part of the 100 nothing can take that away." Bellamy avowed.

"Bellamy's right guys. As much this sucks nothing will change how I feel about you all." Clarke gave Bellamy a look only he could understand, a look of approval, like she was silently agreeing with him.

"Yeah I mean remember when Clarke and Bellamy were practically at each other's throats. Now look at the two of them." Raven hinted.

Bellamy glares at Raven as if he was telling her to shut up without words but she just laughed and rolled her eyes.

"Well I'm just glad I'm not the only one leaving. It would suck to be alone." Miller spoke.

"Yeah, I don't think I could handle being sent away by myself." Jasper responded. "Now how about we stop being all sad and have a little fun!" He smiled as he pulled out a bottle from his back pack.

"Jasper's moonshine, my favorite way to have fun!" Raven rejoiced.

"Let's go get the cups." Harper suggested.

As everyone followed Jasper to the drink station to get cups, Bellamy and Clarke followed behind. "You seem to be feeling better about this situation." Bellamy said.

"Eh, kind of. I'm just not as scared I guess." Clarke confirmed.

"There's nothing to be scared of princess." Bellamy mocked.

"Yeah yeah I know." Clarke's teased back.

"Well how bout we finally go get that drink we deserve." He offered.

"Sounds good to me." She agreed.

For the rest of the night they drank and laughed and cried together, and for a moment it felt as if it were just them on the ground again, but soon reality set in and they knew the night should come to an end. Early that next morning most of them would venture off miles away from Arkadia. And while they we going to miss they're friends leaving, inside they knew that they would all meet again.


End file.
